Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
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