...so i touched it.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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