how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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