Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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