$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize
