Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Randomize
