the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
