I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
