How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
