Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
