is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Randomize
