Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
