shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
