you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
