The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Randomize
