i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
