did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
