youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
