Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
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