I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
