Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
