real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
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