also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
