Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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