But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
