I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
