I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Randomize
