Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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