when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
