Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
