The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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