Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
She even gives head with a lisp.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
