Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Actions speak louder than pants.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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