Whatcha textin bout Willis?
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
