ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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