"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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