i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
