I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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