sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
