I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
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