I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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