I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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