I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
This baby is an asshole
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Randomize
