Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
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