this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
