I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
