Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
