I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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