Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
This is the high leading the old right now
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
