if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
