she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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