He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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