She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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