zippers are such a cool invention
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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